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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29292681">Parallelism</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatsukiSin/pseuds/KatsukiSin'>KatsukiSin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005), Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Season/Series 15, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Camping, Caring Jack Harkness, Depressed Castiel (Supernatural), Diverges after 15x3, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jack Kline (mentioned) - Freeform, M/M, Secrets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:48:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,882</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29292681</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatsukiSin/pseuds/KatsukiSin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Cas leaves the Bunker in season 15, he stumbles across one Captain Jack Harkness. The two hit it off, but Cas thinks that Jack is a normal human who doesn't know the supernatural (or aliens) exist. Cas is still struggling with the death of his son and the loss of his home in the Bunker, but Jack is determined to help him through his pain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel (Supernatural) &amp; Jack Harkness, Castiel (Supernatural)/Jack Harkness, Maybe Jack is just being Jack, Maybe they're dating - Relationship, idk, you pick - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Parallelism</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I haven't actually had the chance to see Torchwood, so forgive me if I have gotten some things wrong here. I also have never written Jack Harkness before, so the characterization will not be perfect.</p><p>Still, I enjoyed writing this, and if I don't post it then I've basically skipped online schooling for nothing, so...</p><p>...here we go.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Where are you?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel blinked. He took a deep breath, a single moment to reorient himself, before dragging his gaze away from his hands where they lay in his lap. “I’m right here.”</p><p> </p><p>The other man stilled. Abandoning his attempt to light a fire, Jack Harkness moved to sit beside the angel on a fallen log. “You know what I meant.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel held back a sigh. Yes, he had known what Jack meant, but had been hoping to play it off as yet another colloquialism he didn’t understand.  </p><p> </p><p>“When your eyes go blank, when you stop hearing what people are saying to you,” Jack murmured. The air was growing cool with the approaching night, but Castiel’s leg was warm where Jack’s was pressed against his own. “Where does your mind disappear to, Cas?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> A cemetery. Jack was there-- a different Jack, a different species and face. A Jack who was only a few years old, despite what his appearance suggested. A strangled noise left the nephilim’s throat. This close up, Castiel could feel the supernova burning the nephilim up from the inside. Castiel could feel the swell of righteousness and strength as it imploded on itself, the bright white light of Jack’s Essence that burned cold. The angel lurched forward, hands uselessly trying to heal, but it was too late. He was shaking. Was that the last thing Jack would ever feel? His angelic Essence searing him, freezing him from the inside out and shattering everything he was into a million little pieces? The light had been so bright, but it had been cold for so long, without Jack’s soul there to warm it. Was the bitter cold of betrayal and dying Essence the last thing his son would know of this world? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Castiel swallowed thickly, shifting so his leg was far enough away from Jack’s that he could not steal from the other’s body heat. He had not been able to keep that Jack warm, and he did not deserve warmth from this Jack, either. “I’m just tired.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re always tired,” Jack said, stubbornly looking into the angel’s eyes even as Cas kept his gaze trained pointedly away. “But you never go to sleep. You pretend to be asleep next to me, but you never are. Or did you think I hadn’t noticed?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel’s eyes fluttered shut before he could stop them. </p><p> </p><p>He wished Jack knew. If Castiel knew anything, it was that Jack Harkness had been hurt before. He could see it in the other man’s jokes, which were more often than not devised purely to redirect Castiel’s attention when the angel got a bit too close. He could see it in the expectant way Jack Harkness held himself. Castiel recognized the way Jack always seemed to be paying attention, listening closely for something like he was expecting to hear a phone call or a voice, the way he intently studied the faces of everyone who passed like expecting to see a long-gone someone’s face. Cas knew what that was like. He couldn’t count the number of times he had falsely seen their faces in a crowd. It was the only time he saw Sam and Dean’s faces anymore. He deeply regretted not having pictures of them saved onto his phone. He hadn’t seen or heard from either of them since…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “The plan changed, Dean. Something went wrong. You know this. Something always goes wrong.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Castiel forced his eyes open. He really needed to stop doing that. He had said, before he left the Bunker, that it was his time to move on, but he couldn’t do that if he kept thinking of them every second of every day. </p><p> </p><p>How the Hell was he supposed to stop himself, though?</p><p> </p><p>Beside him, Jack sighed. A part of Castiel went numb at the sound. He knew he was doing wrong. All of the lies, the pretending, the secrets. He was messing things up again. But this Jack wasn’t like the other one. He didn’t know about demons and vampires and ghouls, he had no idea about the creatures that preyed in the night. He didn’t know that he should be afraid. </p><p> </p><p>Jack Harkness was just… normal. Any attempt on Castiel’s part to admit that he didn’t need sleep or food, that he wasn’t human, would only serve to open Jack up to a world of hunting and hurt. It would be better to let him continue to live in his obliviousness. That’s what Sam and Dean would say.</p><p> </p><p>He stiffened as Jack put a hand under his chin. Jack shifted closer, putting his leg firmly against Castiel’s once more, as he lifted the angel’s head to finally look him in the face. “You don’t have to tell me. Sometimes there just aren’t words. I get that.” </p><p> </p><p>Castiel forgot to breathe when he caught sight of the sincerity and sorrow in Jack’s eyes. Technically he didn’t need to go through respiration, but Jack was close enough that he would notice if Cas suddenly stopped breathing, so the angel sluggishly forced himself to continue the process of drawing in oxygen. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not leaving, though,” Jack continued. “No matter where you go, no matter how many times or how long you get lost inside your head, I need you to know that when you fight your way back, I’ll be here.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas nodded. If Jack noticed that it was a bit shaky, he didn’t call the angel out on it. “Th-thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack frowned, something dark flashing in his eyes. “Don’t. I’m not doing any of this for a ‘thank you.’ You should know better by now.”</p><p> </p><p>The angel didn’t know what to say to that. His first instinct was to apologize, but he got the feeling that would only upset Jack further. </p><p> </p><p>Jack’s eyes hovered on Castiel’s face for a few seconds longer. If he wanted the trench-coat clad man to speak, he was disappointed. Jack’s hands slipped away from Cas’ face as the man turned his gaze to the stack of firewood he had been trying to light earlier. He stayed quiet for so long that Cas started to wonder if Jack was getting lost inside of his own dark thoughts, too. </p><p> </p><p>“Just don’t…” Jack started before trailing off. </p><p> </p><p>“Jack?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to earn their love,” Jack muttered, voice more somber than Cas had heard before. “You deserve better.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel anxiously licked his chapped lips. <em> ‘ </em> You’re <em> the one who deserves better,’ </em>he thought. </p><p> </p><p>Jack cleared his throat suddenly. He hopped up off the log before extending a hand down to help the angel up. His smile was too easy-going to be real, Cas noted sadly. He didn’t want to make Jack stoop to lying on his behalf. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on,” Jack said as Cas allowed himself to be pulled up. “How about you put the tent up while I get the fire going?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel wrinkled his nose at the thought of wrestling with all the complicated fabric and supports of the tent. “How did you manage to convince me to come camping?”</p><p> </p><p>“As if you could resist the temptation of being alone with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I could just as easily be alone with you at your apartment,” Cas grumbled as he prepared to set up the tent. </p><p> </p><p>Not ‘our apartment.’ Not yet. He still couldn’t let himself consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, he could let himself belong somewhere. He had lost too many homes over the years to risk it now. </p><p> </p><p>Jack let out a triumphant sound as a spark finally caught on the firewood. </p><p> </p><p>“True. But you love nature too much for your own good. Of course you agreed to come out and bask in it with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be sure not to make that mistake again,” Cas said, scowling down at the tent. He couldn’t even tell which way the fabric was meant to be facing, and he was not looking forward to trying to get the flimsy support bars to function as they were supposed to. </p><p> </p><p>It was a pain, but he eventually felt himself get enveloped in the task. If he was going to be putting up this tent, he would do it correctly and would not stop until it was perfect. It took him a bit to realize that Jack had not responded to his taunt. And then he realized he could hear the crackle of flames.</p><p> </p><p>Partway through setting up the tent, Castiel glanced back at Jack. The other was sitting back on his haunches, watching Castiel, making no move to aid in erecting the tent despite the fire already being a decent size. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you just going to sit there? Or are you going to help me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nah,” Jack said with a smile that looked less forced. “I like the view from back here.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re insufferable,” Cas muttered, focusing back on the tent.</p><p> </p><p>“I get that a lot. Must be one of my natural charms.”</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Charm isn’t the word I would use,’ </em>the angel thought, but he wasn’t going to encourage Jack by saying the response out loud. </p><p> </p><p>It took a few more minutes of struggling, but Cas finally finished the tent.</p><p> </p><p>“Good work,” Jack looked the tent up and down appraisingly. Castiel lifted in his chin in a surge of pride, but Jack quickly continued with: “But I’ve been thinking. It’s not supposed to rain tonight, so how about we ditch the tent and just use our sleeping bags?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas’ lips parted slightly in surprise. “<em> What? </em>You’re kidding me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you’d like to fall asleep under the starlight.” Jack pressed a hand against his chest in feigned offense.</p><p> </p><p>“That does sound appealing,” Castiel had to admit. “But why didn’t you say something sooner instead of leaving me to build up the tent for no reason?”</p><p> </p><p>Jack tilted his head to the side as though trying to get a good look at Castiel’s backside. “I told you already. I liked the view.” </p><p> </p><p>Castiel rolled his eyes as he prayed to his Father for patience. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Cas had not checked his phone a single time since the start of their camping trip. </p><p> </p><p>Back when they had first met, four months ago, the other man had constantly pulled out his phone to check for missed texts and calls that were never there, as far as Jack could tell. It was progress, but the idea that Cas needed to go through a healing process in the first place spoiled any relief Jack might have felt over Cas’ decreasing reliance on the device. </p><p> </p><p>He had asked Cas about who he was waiting for once, but the other’s reaction had ensured that Jack wouldn’t prompt Cas on it again. Jack was introspective enough to see the irony in trying to force the other man to reveal any secrets he bore from the past. </p><p> </p><p>Jack had been disappointed to learn that Cas didn’t seem to remember any of the alien invasions or world-ending crises that had happened in recent years. Cas always seemed to pick up on details that others missed; he was clever and analytical, always asking questions and never taking anything at face value. Jack had been certain that Cas was one of the ones who <em> knew, </em>but all of Jack’s subtle hints and references to extraterrestrial life or invasions had been met with blank looks and confused head tilts. </p><p> </p><p>Jack couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to live with a Cas who knew about the paranormal, about aliens and time travel and immortality. In the end, though, Jack recognized that it was probably for the best. He wanted to keep Cas as far away from Torchwood as possible. </p><p> </p><p>It had been almost two years now since the destruction of Torchwood Hub Three. </p><p> </p><p>He had had about three months to grieve the loss-- the building, his team, his friends, his mission-- when he stumbled upon the key. It had been just lying on the nightstand of whatever crummy motel Jack had found himself staying in at the time. He had known the second he saw it that it had been from the Doctor. A little research had revealed the key belonged to some old factory in America, an abandoned building with all the qualifications for becoming a new Torchwood facility. </p><p> </p><p>He had sulked around for another month or two, bitter at the idea of bending to the Doctor’s whims when the Time Lord clearly couldn’t be bothered to do anything more than leave a key lying around after everything that had happened.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, Jack had admitted to himself that he didn’t have much else to do, not if the Doctor had set their sights on Jack maintaining Torchwood. He had gone out to the old factory to find that it had already been partly converted into a facility. There was still a long way to go to get the place in working order-- tech to install, fail-safes and protections to put in place, a team to recruit, among other things-- but at least he had a clear goal for the first time since the tragedy of Hub Three. </p><p> </p><p>There had been a fair share of disasters since the new facility became operational. Not enough to make Jack lose hope just yet, but enough to make him wary. Running Torchwood was no walk in the park, and when Jack had organised this camping trip, it had been with the knowledge that Cas wasn’t the only one who could use a change of setting.</p><p> </p><p>It was only for the weekend, of course, and reality would be waiting for them beyond the treeline. But for now, Jack would revel in the gentle heat of the sun, the smell of leaves and earth, the glistening of the water, and the small but no less genuine quirk of Cas’ lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Poor thing,” Cas murmured, gazing at the bluegill Jack had just reeled in. </p><p> </p><p>Jack raised a brow at him. “The bluegill’s not the one sitting still for hours on end, waiting for a bite.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you’re not the one with a hook in your mouth,” Cas returned, looking unimpressed with Jack’s complaint.</p><p> </p><p>“Fair enough.”</p><p> </p><p>Holding the fish firmly, Jack started to pry the hook from the thing’s mouth. The scales were slick, though, and his hand slipped, the sharp dorsal fins snagging at his skin. Jack cursed and pulled the injured hand away, but managed to keep the struggling fish secure in his free hand. </p><p> </p><p>“Let me,” Cas said, grabbing for the fish. Jack let him, watching as the other efficiently removed the fishing hook. Then he knelt down on the dock, and a splash resounded in the air as the bluegill returned to the water once more. Cas didn’t stop to watch the rippling water, instead straightening and turning to Jack. “Are you alright?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yep.” Jack wiped his hand on his dark coloured pants to get rid of the blood there before Cas could see it. The wounds were small, which meant they would be fully healed in a minute. It was nothing Cas had to worry about, and nothing he couldn’t hide. “It didn’t break the skin. Just startled me, is all.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas settled back into his foldable chair, and Jack did the same after recasting his fishing line. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s a bit sad, isn’t it? The fish. They’re hardly even aware of the world outside the water. They just try to live their lives, to survive, but get dragged into a world they’re not a part of. A world they know nothing about. I’m sure it would be traumatic even for a fish that is returned to the water, but most of them never return. They didn’t ask for it, of course, but it doesn’t matter. Do you ever feel like that?” Cas asked softly, almost absently, without taking his gaze from the water. “Like you’ve been forced into a world you don’t belong in, with no power to change what’s happening to you because you weren’t designed to be there in the first place?”</p><p> </p><p>Jack watched the other from the corner of his eyes. It was obvious that Cas wasn’t talking about the fish anymore. Jack wondered, not for the first time, what exactly had happened to the trenchcoat-wearing man before him. </p><p> </p><p>“All the time, Cas.”  </p><p> </p><p>Jack wasn’t quite from another world, but he was from the future. The technology, the people, the attitudes, the knowledge, the languages-- everything that Jack had grown up knowing and believing in had no place in the 21st century. He could understand the sentiment of Cas’ questions.</p><p> </p><p>“All the time,” Jack repeated. “But I guess that’s what being human is. Making your own place in the world and taking control of what little you can. Not letting yourself be dragged down.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas turned to look at him. He had that look on his face again, that one that made him seem far older than a mortal had any right to be. If Jack didn’t know any better, he would have looked into those eyes, weary and sorrow-filled but with just a pinch of hope left in them, and wondered if Cas was weighed down by the weight of millennia, too. </p><p> </p><p>“I think you’re right,” Cas said. </p><p> </p><p>Jack met his eyes and offered the other a smile. Cas shifted. His lips parted, and for a second Jack thought he might say something-- he could <em> see </em>the need to speak in the man’s eyes, could practically feel it in the air between them-- but Cas turned back to the glittering water of the lake in silence. </p><p> </p><p>Jack held back a sigh. It was progress.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>He had known that Cas was on the run from the first time they had met. At first, the deduction had been made based solely on the demeanor with which Cas held himself. Like he was defeated, anxious and hunted, not sure why he was drudging forward but doing so nonetheless. As he had stumbled into Cas more and more, however, Jack had found evidence to support the hypothesis. </p><p> </p><p>Cas was a light traveller. He hadn’t seemed to own anything more than the clothes on his back and the rusted pick-up truck he had rolled into town with. He was used to moving frequently and suddenly, and did not own material possessions that would slow him down. </p><p> </p><p>Cas was alert. He heard every noise and saw every movement, and his head always snapped to it as though expecting danger. He looked at people’s faces as though expecting to see someone he knew there. He did it with a mixture of fear and hope, as though simultaneously dreading and longing for the day he would recognize a face.</p><p> </p><p>It had taken Jack a bit longer to realize the person or people he was expecting to see in a crowd was not what Cas was running from. Cas was clever-- if he had been evading a person or organization that was tracking him, he would not use his credit card or his phone so carelessly. No, Cas wasn’t running from anyone but himself. </p><p> </p><p>Jack had practically taken the man in at that revelation. He knew what it was like to be broken and alone. Jack had not held anything back from Cas-- well, nothing except the existence of alien life, he supposed. He had known that Cas would be gone again soon enough, his inner demons not permitting him to stay in one place for very long. He had also known that it would hurt when Cas left if Jack let himself get attached in any capacity, but that hadn’t stopped him. After all, Jack would live for a very long time after Cas left, long enough that he would likely forget the blue-eyed man and the pain he would bring. </p><p> </p><p>He had been surprised when one week, then two, then a month, then another month had passed and Cas had not yet moved on from the town. </p><p> </p><p>Jack hadn’t had to stop and wonder why. He was essentially the only person Cas knew here. If Cas hadn’t left, it was because he saw something in Jack, something that made him want to take risks, to stand and fight against his own inner demons. That act alone told Jack everything he could ever need to know about Cas, even if the man wouldn’t directly open up to those around him. </p><p> </p><p>A lot of what Jack knew about Cas was what he had gathered from guesses and deductions. Even after four months, Cas was very guarded about what he shared and never gave more than he had to, especially not when unprompted. </p><p> </p><p>Until now. </p><p> </p><p>They were lying on top of sleeping bags and blankets, looking up at the stars, the tent sitting dejectedly beside them because Cas had been loath to tear it down after struggling to erect it. Cas’ head rested on Jack’s chest. Jack’s fingers were carding through his soft hair, and he could feel Cas’ breaths puff against his chest. The moonlight was pale and inviting, the crickets chirped, Cas was warm against Jack’s skin, and all in all, it had been very peaceful. </p><p> </p><p>Then Cas spoke. </p><p> </p><p>“I had a son.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack’s hands stilled in Cas’ hair in his surprise. It lasted less than a second before Jack returned to his administrations. </p><p> </p><p>‘Had.’</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Had </em>a son.’</p><p> </p><p>It must have been pretty recent, Jack thought. Whatever had happened to Cas’ son, it was probably what had put him on the run. </p><p> </p><p>“What was his name?” </p><p> </p><p>Cas stiffened against him. “Jack.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack frowned. Had he done something wrong? Cas hadn’t said the name in a reprimanding tone, though… “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“His name was Jack.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh. <em> Oh.  </em></p><p> </p><p>He tried to look at Cas, but their positioning meant he could only see the top of the man’s head. Cas had likely positioned himself like this for that reason.</p><p> </p><p>“What was he like?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas sighed. Jack could feel the long, slow movements of the other man’s chest. “He was… afraid,” Cas said slowly. “He was always afraid of what he could become. So much so that he never fully understood that it was who and what he was in the moment that truly mattered, not what the future held. He only ever wanted to help others, but he was so afraid that he wouldn’t be enough.”</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Sounds familiar,’ </em> Jack thought. <em> ‘Sounds a lot like his dad.’ </em></p><p> </p><p>He said something else out loud, though. “So is that what you see?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas twitched, like he had started to tilt his head to look up at Jack but changed his mind at the last second. “What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“When you look at me,” Jack clarified. “Is that what you see? Your son?”</p><p> </p><p>The thought made him bitter. It probably shouldn’t. He should be more patient and understanding. But Jack had lived enough of his life feeling like a ghost. He couldn’t bear the thought of Cas looking straight through him, seeing someone long dead and gone instead of him. He didn’t want to be so meaningless and nonexistent, especially not to Cas. </p><p> </p><p>Cas snorted humorlessly. “No offense, but he wasn’t anything like you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Cas said. “He wasn’t such an insouciant flirt.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack made a thoughtful noise. The tension didn’t leave Cas’ muscles, but he did finally tilt his head up so Jack could meet his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“And he was young,” Cas continued. “Young and naive.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack picked up on the note of resentment in Cas’ tone. “You think you should have done something,” he guessed. “That you didn’t do enough to keep him safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter. Not any more.”</p><p> </p><p>“But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt,” Jack said, unwilling to let the conversation go so quickly. “You don’t forfeit the right to grieve because you made a mistake. You’re allowed to hurt, Cas.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas was already shaking his head before Jack had even finished. “Nobody cares,” he said tonelessly. “My mess is already too big to clean up, and grieving won’t clean it.”</p><p> </p><p>“No. But maybe you have to put yourself in order before you can do that to your mistakes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe…” Cas whispered brokenly. Not in a way that suggested he was considering Jack’s words; more like he just didn’t know what else to say.</p><p> </p><p>“You would have fought with everything you had to keep him safe. But you can’t save everybody. You can’t keep fighting for others with everything you have if you don’t let yourself have anything, Cas.” </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t save everybody,” Cas murmured. He pulled away, sitting up on his elbows to look Jack fully in the face. “I know that. I always have. But I thought I would be able to save <em> someone.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Jack nodded, swallowing around a lump in his throat. “Sometimes you can only save one person, and sometimes that person is yourself. It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“No. No, it’s not okay. I need you to promise me something.” </p><p> </p><p>Jack narrowed his eyes, but Cas looked too desperate for Jack to be able to completely shut him down. “Okay…”</p><p> </p><p>“I need you to pray.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack couldn’t help the sharp laugh that escaped his throat. Jack wasn’t religious, and he had never prayed once in his life. Cas knew that. The suggestion was ludicrous. </p><p> </p><p>“If you’re ever in danger,” Cas continued. “If you’re ever alone and in need of help, just pray to me: <em> Cas, I need you. </em>Just pray to me, and I’ll come running.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay?” Jack repeated quietly. This meant something to Cas, obviously, but it was like he was speaking in a dialect Jack didn’t understand. </p><p> </p><p>“You can’t just think it,” Cas said, looking Jack in the eyes. “You have to pray it. You have to <em> mean </em>it. If I can only save one person, I want it to be you. All you have to do is call.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll pray to you. I swear it on my life.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Well, one of my lives, at least.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>All of the tension seemed to leave Cas at once. He melted against Jack, head falling on Jack’s chest again as though he didn’t have the energy to sit up anymore. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Cas whispered. “I just hope I don’t fail you like I did them.”</p><p> </p><p><em> ‘Them?’ </em>Jack wondered vaguely as he wrapped Cas in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t press it, though. He already had a lot to process, and Cas didn’t seem like he was in the mood to talk.</p><p> </p><p>Jack held Cas tight, looking up at the sky as he waited for sleep to drag them both into oblivion. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“<em> Why aren’t the back up generators working!? </em>” Jack snapped. </p><p> </p><p>Cyril, who worked as the head of technology in the relatively new Torchwood division, glared. “They are! But every scrap of power we have is going into life support and keeping the goddamn doors closed!”</p><p> </p><p>Jack growled, finding it hard to keep his thoughts in order with the deep, metallic banging reverberating from the doors. “How long do we have?”</p><p> </p><p>Cyril turned away to flick his gaze over some monitors. “About fifteen minutes.” </p><p> </p><p>Jack turned back to the rest of his team. He tried to look calm and in control, but the torchlight wouldn’t provide enough light to illuminate his face if he failed, anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“We could use the Energy Charger--” Someone started.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Jack cut whoever it was off. “It wouldn’t be able to contain them. Go and find anything you can that uses an x-tonic frequency.  If they get exposed to it for long enough, they’ll be vulnerable.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack turned away before he could see the doubt plague his team members’ faces. It would be a dangerous venture, Jack knew, but it was the only hope they had. </p><p> </p><p>He looked at the door, and noticed to his horror that they were starting to dent from the alien’s attack. </p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t watch his team die. </p><p> </p><p><em> ‘They knew what they were signing up for when they joined,’ </em>Jack tried to tell himself. Except of course they didn’t know. They never knew that these things ended bloody, not really. Not until it was their blood staining Jack’s hands. </p><p> </p><p>The banging kept going. </p><p> </p><p>Jack thought of Cas. He had been reconsidering: thinking of telling Cas the truth about extraterrestrial life, even about asking the man to join Torchwood. It looked like it was a good thing he hadn’t. </p><p> </p><p>If they didn’t make it out… if things went wrong…</p><p> </p><p>Jack would still be alive, even if the building itself collapsed down on top of him, but he wouldn’t come back out the same. He wouldn’t be the Jack that Cas had grown to love and trust these past few months. He’d be a stranger, bitter and angry and cruel, and Jack had the feeling that Cas would stay with him anyway. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Cas… I’m sorry.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jack didn’t let himself get caught up in the what-ifs. He had a job to do, he had people relying on him. He turned around and got to work, even if he knew in the back of his mind that there was nothing he could do. The battle was already lost.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Not far away, Castiel’s head snapped up. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ‘Cas… I’m sorry.’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Jack probably hadn’t even been aware that he had prayed it. But Cas had heard.</p><p> </p><p>And he would do whatever he had to to keep Jack safe. </p><p><br/>
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